Rebels With a Cause

Boys are less sensitive than girls. Boys don''t need emotional intimacy. Boys are rational, intelligent, and competitive. Boys will be boys. . Assumptions like these maintain ''boy culture. '' This reality pushes boys into gendered roles that leave them disconnected from each other. It''s getting worse. In 1990, 3 percent of men reported having no close friends; now, 15 percent do. This crisis of connection has led to ''toxic masculinity,'' ''the epidemic of fatherlessness,'' and most sensationally ''the end of men,'' while real boys all around us are experiencing more depression, anxiety, loneliness, even suicide and violence. As Niobe Way''s interviews with boys from all income levels show, children have strong emotional and social skills. Pre-teen boys speak openly about their love for male friends, their desire to share deep secrets, and their need to discuss problems rather than avoiding them. It is only as they grow older and are pressured to ''man up'' that these abilities are lost. We can fix it! As Way shows with powerful heart-rending stories, when teens resist ''boy'' culture, they experience higher self-esteem, friendship quality, and math achievement, along with lower levels of depression. A caring climate at home, in school, and in society that encourages connection and friendship makes the difference. Culture war stories may get television ratings and politicians elected, but this book will help us nurture our boys.